In the spirit of the Nascar Awards show, which was on ESPN tonight, I'm going to post my own Nascar Awards.
The things that are quoted in this post are my words from my various recaps.
Most Ridiculous Nascar Announcement Award
To Brian France for his "Return to our Roots" campaign.
The campaign didn't even last one race.
*slow clap for Nascar*
Most Obscure Pop Culture Reference Award To Chris Myers at the Shootout.
The Best Lines of the Year by the Spouse of a Recapper Award
To Mrs. ccrobinson.
At Atlanta, she said this about the Fox announcers.
At Bristol, DW had no voice.
BTW, I used to date a girl who was an impressionist.
She did everyone.
At Pocono:
Ugliest shirts worn by Nascar announcers Award
The grey shirts that Mike Joy and Larry McReynolds wore for the Duels.
President of the Kyle Busch Fan Club
Darrell Waltrip in a landslide.
At the 500.
At Vegas:
At Atlanta.
At the All-Star race.
At Dover, DW went over the top.
BTW, the reference to Big Brown turned out to be apt, didn't it?
The Fox team went all out on their last race of the season to bring the Kyle Busch Love.
It continued on after the race was over, too.
There aren't enough eye-rolling smileys in the world.
Most Meaningless Punishment Award
To Nascar for their continuing "probation" nonsense.
At California:
Most Bewildering Gambling Reference at Las Vegas To Larry McReynolds.
Bad Driving Award
To Dale Earnhardt Jr at Las Vegas.
Most Gambling References in One Race Award
To Krista Voda.
Most Worthless Schtick of the Year Award
To Fox for naming the Gopher of the Gopher Cam.
By the time we got to Bristol, my wife and I wanted to make him a Sail-Gopher.
The Guy who used to be cool but isn't any more Award
To Garth Brooks
The Racing Cliche that deserves to die a grisly death Award
To the cliche that getting out of the pits first is entirely due to pit stall location.
At Richmond.
I was listening to a race late in the season and the guys on the Performance Racing Network honestly couldn't understand how Carl Edwards, in the first pit stall, wasn't the first one out of the pits.
Let's stamp out this cliche in 2009.
Worst Nickname of the 2008 Nascar Season Award
Larry McReynolds and Darrell Waltrip share this one.
Best race of the Season Award
To Bristol in the spring.
There was no better race in 2008.
The Most Obvious Joke of the Year Award
To me for several this year.
Here are 2 from Darlington.
Hey-o!
The Bringing Sanity back to the Broadcast Booth Award
To TNT at the Pocono race in June.
The Who's this Guy and Why is he bringing actual analysis Award aka the Best Analyst in Nascar Award To Kyle Petty. Kyle brought more analysis than anybody and was such a refreshing change from the hype and hyperbole of Fox.
At Pocono in June, I heard more actual analysis from Kyle in one race than I heard in all the races that Fox covered.
Best line by the spouse of a Baptistboard Member Award
To swaim's wife.
The Tell em what they want to hear Award
To Wally Dallenbach on his days as a driver.
The Completely Irrelevant to Nascar Award
To TNT for one of their promos during the Joliet race.
The Maybe we should rethink who's our spokesman Award To Subway for sponsoring Tony Stewart.
I think it was later in the season that Tony was quoted as saying, "I didn't get this body from eating salad."
The Worst Race of the Season Award
The Brickyard 400.
8 lap segments on tires before they were unsafe is ridiculous. This was a horrible "race".
The He'll always be my favorite announcer Award
To Dr. Jerry Punch at Watkins Glen.
You could hear DJ and Andy Petree laughing in the background after Jerry said that. Brilliant!
The He Speaks and says nothing Award
To Brad Daugherty.
The Thanks for getting out of bed to sing the national anthem Award
To the dude who sang the national anthem at Atlanta.
The Hey, these guys can bring analysis too Award
To Dale Jarrett and Ray Evernham
The Best Comment made by a Baptistboard Member Award
To padredurand.
The Best Analyst who wasn't a Nascar driver or Crew Chief Award
To Brad Daugherty.
At Homestead, Brad had this wisdom for us.
The Galactically Stupid Award
To David Gililand for wrecking JP Montoya at Texas.
The Ridiculous Trophy Award
To the Sprint Cup that isn't a Cup.
The Ehh Who Cares Award
To Tony Stewart leaving Joe Gibbs Racing.
Best coverage of Nascar Award
In 6 races, TNT won this award with ESPN a close 2nd.
Kyle Petty and Wally Dallenbach were fantastic this year. As noted in my recaps, Kyle continually brought actual analysis and neither Kyle, nor Wally, fawned over any driver. If ESPN loses Rusty and Brad, they might take over the top spot next year. Fox finishes a distant 3rd in race coverage as they made the races they covered unwatchable at times.
I don't know whether I'll do these recaps in 2009 or not, but I did enjoy doing them this year.
I hope you enjoyed reading them.
Brad Daugherty and Joe Morgan jump off the top of a ten story building. The wind is blowing at 15 mph. Brad weighs 30 more lbs than Joe. Who hits first?