Go to a Goodwill store and buy a pair of men's used size 16 work boots.
Place them on your front porch, along with a couple copies of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
Leave a note on your door that reads:
"Hey Bubba,
Bertha, Duke, Nick and I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in about an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and bit him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, if you were wonderin' where they went to, I locked all four of 'em inside the house.
Better wait outside. Be right back."
--Cooter
Redneck Home Security System
Discussion in 'Jokes & Humor (Clean)' started by InTheLight, Jun 17, 2020.