I'd like to add something here. There's no way we can get a truly accurate picture of all the dynamics involved in these relationships. We must "fill in" what we can't see, and we'll tend to personalize what we THINK is going on based on our own experiences. Because of this, there will be disagreement.
Some of the more DYSFUNCTIONAL relationships I know of began with a young passive man submitting to a strong, decisive mother. Is this bad? Not necessarily. But a young woman who enters this mix should take a great deal of time to develop the relationship with both the mother and the son. I would expect that any mother's goal is to finish raising her minor son to the best of her ability to be a fine independent citizen.
Of course, this will mean someday letting go. This will also mean that the son has to be willing to "go." Unfortunately, this is NOT a decision that can be made by the girlfriend. If the courting couple is marriage-minded, it's important that they take the time to build their own relationship. If Mom holds the reins very tightly, this will take a long time. This may be a blessing...or not.
Relationships
Discussion in 'Youth Forum' started by cheerfreakus, Jul 13, 2003.
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I am young and have never dated(i kiss dating goodbye lol), and not very interested in dating. More interested in God and just focusing on myself(like doing good in school, etc) right now.
But what I think Ashley, you should just focuse on yourself and God right now. Let the right man come to you when God feels its the right time.
There are so many greater things you could be doing in your life besides focusing on guys/boyfriends. Enjoy living a single life, experience all the things you can, focuse on family, yourself, school, so that when you're absolutely ready for a guy you will be older and have a stable life. Life is unstable alot of the time(from what I see with my friends and their b/fs) when you have b/f's young. Its just more stress your putting on yourself. You don't need the stress
But, if you do TRUELLY like this guy, wait on him and his mother. Maybe just be friends with him now until his mother feels more comfortable.
But I would also look eslewhere, because it seems like his family has different ways of looking at relationships and what to accept and not accept than you. I think that can cause alot of problems like it is now, and also if you stick around with him.
God Bless,
YSIC
Candace -
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This is very wise. You also bring up a good point. Your focus is on God. Your interest in doing what is right and allowing God to lead. If the boy is the right one for Ashley, God will make everything work out, without intervention from her or outsiders. His mother probably wants what is best for her son so she wants him to make right decisions. The mother also would not want her son to make a wrong choice. Ashley needs to get to know his family better, and be totally honest in the process. Hiding and doing things that the parents don't approve of will only be trouble in the future. -
"Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall."- 1Corintians 10:12 -
That's right. You may not want to do anything "sinful" but temptation is hard to resist. You should focus more on God than relationship until you are ready to commit through marriage. My pastors wife said she loves her husband but that she really wished that she would have waited to get until she finished bible college. She never finished not that she holds that against her husband, but it showing the young ladies of the church not to rush into anything. My dad doesn't let me date and it doesn't bother me. I am a normal christian teen that is living for God. I really don't lose any sleep over it, at all. ;)
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I think you should forget what the mom thinks and run off to californa and start your own family of corse get married then have the kids.
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