1. Welcome to Baptist Board, a friendly forum to discuss the Baptist Faith in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to all the features that our community has to offer.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

Some Short Ones

Discussion in 'Jokes & Humor (Clean)' started by SGO, Jul 17, 2021.

  1. SGO

    SGO Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2020
    Messages:
    2,833
    Likes Received:
    533
    Faith:
    Non Baptist Christian
    I'm not very tall so here are some short ones, thanks to Homoropedia.


    Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes.
    That way when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away and you’ll have their shoes.



    What do you call sad coffee?
    Despresso.



    Why did a banana go to a doctor?
    It wasn’t peeling well.



    What is the difference between an elementary school teacher and a train?
    The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says chew, chew.



    Soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish.



    I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.



    I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  2. Wingman68

    Wingman68 Well-Known Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2017
    Messages:
    5,077
    Likes Received:
    2,243
    Faith:
    Baptist
    C556C22F-A4DB-4E99-9859-22E9D7C9FC17.jpeg

    This falls into the short one category.
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
  3. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
    Administrator

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2003
    Messages:
    38,982
    Likes Received:
    2,615
    Faith:
    Baptist
    She is actually ON the road - and more importantly is NOT facing traffic.

    That is a recipe for disaster.

    I would be calling the police!
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  4. Wingman68

    Wingman68 Well-Known Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2017
    Messages:
    5,077
    Likes Received:
    2,243
    Faith:
    Baptist
    I just got back from Walmart and I have to share this! I found myself behind a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson. He had his hands full with the child screaming for sweets, cookies, all sorts of things. The granddad was saying in a controlled voice, "Easy, William, we won't be long . . . easy boy."
    Another outburst and I heard the granddad calmly say, "It's okay William. Just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy."


    At the checkout the little horror was throwing items out of the shopping cart and Granddad says again in a controlled voice, "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes, stay cool William."

    Well, I was really impressed, so I went outside to where the grandfather was loading his groceries and the boy into the car. I said to the Grandad, "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it! That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying that things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his granddad."

    "Thanks," said the Granddad, "But I'm William. That little s***’* name is Kevin."
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Informative Informative x 1
  5. Wingman68

    Wingman68 Well-Known Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2017
    Messages:
    5,077
    Likes Received:
    2,243
    Faith:
    Baptist
    8B6F6E4A-48AC-405C-8065-D37CCBC455E0.jpeg
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  6. Wingman68

    Wingman68 Well-Known Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2017
    Messages:
    5,077
    Likes Received:
    2,243
    Faith:
    Baptist
  7. tyndale1946

    tyndale1946 Well-Known Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2001
    Messages:
    10,966
    Likes Received:
    2,380
    Faith:
    Baptist
    Ah... Leave her alone, she's auditioning for CATS!!!... Brother Glen:Biggrin
     
    #7 tyndale1946, Sep 25, 2021
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2021
    • Like Like x 1
Loading...