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Some Short Ones

S

SGO

Well-Known Member
I'm not very tall so here are some short ones, thanks to Homoropedia.


Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes.
That way when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away and you’ll have their shoes.



What do you call sad coffee?
Despresso.



Why did a banana go to a doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well.



What is the difference between an elementary school teacher and a train?
The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says chew, chew.



Soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish.



I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.



I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
 
Salty

Salty

20,000 Posts Club
Administrator
She is actually ON the road - and more importantly is NOT facing traffic.

That is a recipe for disaster.

I would be calling the police!
 
Wingman68

Wingman68

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
I just got back from Walmart and I have to share this! I found myself behind a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson. He had his hands full with the child screaming for sweets, cookies, all sorts of things. The granddad was saying in a controlled voice, "Easy, William, we won't be long . . . easy boy."
Another outburst and I heard the granddad calmly say, "It's okay William. Just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy."

At the checkout the little horror was throwing items out of the shopping cart and Granddad says again in a controlled voice, "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes, stay cool William."

Well, I was really impressed, so I went outside to where the grandfather was loading his groceries and the boy into the car. I said to the Grandad, "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it! That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying that things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his granddad."

"Thanks," said the Granddad, "But I'm William. That little s***’* name is Kevin."
 
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