I sometimes order tractor parts from catalogs--there's one company over in Louisiana that has catalog sales--they're a Christian company. When they put you on hold on the phone they'll play that Christian background music--songs like "Onward, Christian Soldiers" and "Trust and Obey!" I don't care if they have the part or not--nor how long it takes "Fred" to go back to the back and look for it---I"ll sing along with whatever's playin'.
OK! OK! I'll settle for a catalog store--folks can call me for parts---but see, I've thought that through too! Number 1--catalog stores ain't the same as the real thing---when men come in to the parts store, they like to "run their hands" over the latest tool and gadget--pick it up and see how it feels in their hands! They want to twist and turn--see if its gonna break in the store or if they can make it home without it breakin' or bustin' or somethin'!
Number 2--orderin' from a catalog ain't the same as the real thing---men want to sit on the tractor! Crank it up and then revv it up. Make diesel fumes belch out of the exhaust stack. When men look at a tractor in a catalog and the catalog says, "Buy me!"--well, the man don't know exactly what he's gonna be gettin'! He orders a John Deere 2030 55 horsepower tractor and the day UPS comes with the delivery--its a yard lawnmower! Somethin's gone haywire in the order! And then he has to pay for the return!!
Now, if ya'll will just settle down a minute ole Blackbird will give ya'll a demonstration of the latest tractor he has just received on consignment and I guarantee--some lucky man(or woman) is gonna see the demonstration and be glad to "take it off of Blackbird's hands!" I just received a Catapillar trac/backhoe fresh off the "Lowboy" tractor/trailer early this mornin' while ya'll were sleepin'! I drove it off the delivery trailer myself--surprised it didn't wake any of ya'll up!!
Now, if ya'll will just gather around right outside the front door by the sidewalk while ole Blackbird cranks his latest "Jewel" up! OK! Here it goes--I'm turnin' the starter key . . .! What's that?? I can't hear ya'll!! You're gonna have to get up in my ear or yell a little louder!!!!!!!
Your Southern Baptist preachin', backhoein' buddy,
Blackbird