2 days ago a friend of ours lost their mother to Cancer. It was a long battle and not unexpected. However, her mother never accepted Christ even at death. When we see her on Sunday, what words of sympathy can you say to someone who has lost a nonbeliever. You can't say they're in a better place---you can't say you will see them again someday, you can't point to a scripture for any kind of comfort on this topic. Quite frankly they have to come to grips(I don't know how) with the fact that their loved one is in Hell for eternity.:tear:
What to say?
Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by moscott, May 30, 2008.
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Maybe, "I'm sorry."
Perhaps presence is more important that talk in times of suffering. -
They wll probably at some point have to come to grips with what happened to their mom. BUT, at this point, it is not your job to make them come to that point. Your job is to love them and weep with them. Don't pass judgements one way or another about the fate of the mother.
Unfortunately, I have been called upon to preach funerals of lost people. My job is to minister to the living and point those still living towards faith in Christ. Hug her neck, cry with her, be kind. They are going thru a process of grief that will require time.
If they ask you might say what I do, "I am not the judge of someone's salvation, God is. But I do know one thing that if they could speak to you now, they would want everyone they have ever met to know Jesus and spend eternity with Him." That you know based on Luke 16 and the rich man who was in torment.
Tread lightly and lovingly. -
Wow, a very tough situation. All you can do brother, is to empathize. There is no point in telling them that their loved one is in hell. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.
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Ah, amen Tom. You have good words.
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I loved your reply Tom..it's exactly right on..
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I would simply say, that you are sorry for their loss, and that you will be praying for them.
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Tom Bryant and christianyouth have given wise counsel.
I might add, don't try to make them feel better right now. Tell them you know this loss hurts, and that you hurt with them and for them. -
Why do you assume that they would want you to come up to them and start addressing the fact that their mother is most likely in hell for all eternity? I know at times of deep loss, I appreciate knowing that people are praying for me, and my family, not to mention that prayer is what they need. Now if they come to you and open up about where their mom is spending eternity, that is a different matter. -
Steven2006,
It is because they are in our life group and have/had been asking for everyone to pray for their situation. They had been trying for quite a while to get het to accept Christ. They knew she was going to pass away soon and the thought was unbearable. Now that this has happened you can't just avoid the elephant in the room. -
SBCPreacher Active MemberSite Supporter
There is really nothing that we can say that will take the pain away.
In a similar situation I have said that there are some things in this life that we just don't understand, that we just don't know. But I do know this - God is good. He will never leave you or forsake you, and He will be with you every step of the way.
Then sit long, talk, hug often, and cry right along with them. I've found that your presence means much more than your words. -
Others here have given wise advice on what to say.