There is someone in our church who counts the money on Sunday morning, and has started telling folks that we dont tithe. (This is untrue - I just dont give HER the check sometimes b/c I know she is nosey.) It has gotten back to me, and I am seriously thinking of telling her how disappointed I am that someone is telling these untruths. (I know its her, couldnt be anyone else, but I dont want to accuse). Would you confront?
Would you confront...
Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by TaterTot, Aug 5, 2006.
Page 1 of 3
-
-
I would say it is best to confront it now before it grows into an even bigger story.
-
LOL, tell her flat out, "No, of course we don't tithe. EVERYTHING we have belongs to the Lord and we put it where He wants us to put it. The amount that goes to the church does not go through you, as you have proved yourself to be a gossip."
If others ask you about this bit of juicy gossip, tell them the same thing, with the exception of the last sentence which might be modified to avoid some kind of war of words.
God bless you! -
It is better to confront now, and probably give your offering (tithe) in an envelope during the church service.
wow. that could be a can of worms.
I'll be praying for you.
-
-
Before I became Pastor, I tithed in cash with no envelope because I didn't have enough deductions to use the long form. I figured God knew my heart so all was cool. It got back to my Dad that I wasn't tithing and he gave me this piece of advice.
God knows your heart but man watches your actions. As a leader in the Church, we need to set the example and satisfy man as well as God. -
-
-
I happened to run across this sort of problem with a friend of mine who I attended church with. A deacon come up to him after church and made a comment about how little he had put in the offering plate. He said he knew he made more money than what he put in, and was disappointed in him. Well folks, I have known this brother for 32 of my 44 years. He is like a brother to me, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he paid some rather large bills that week. He got so mad at this deacon that it really has caused his walk with the Lord to suffer. I looked at my brother in Christ and told him that he should have looked at the deacon and said:
"Brother, I had $10 to my name, I put in $5 as an offering. I gave half of what I had. What did you give?"
Besides, being as since I'm a deacon myself, although not at that church, I often help with the offering and frequently count the money myself. The way I see it, what goes in that offering plate is between the Lord and the giver, it is none of my business. Why can't others see it that way? -
I would definitely go to her and tell her your concerns. And as the Biblical model goes, if she doesn't change, take your spouse or pastor to a meeting with her.
But, definitely deal with it....or it will lead to bitterness. -
Tater, she sounds like the kinda person that will take whatever you say and twist it. I would think about taking someone neutral with me when I talk to her.
We had a situation where a staff member was giving their tithe in cash. Would come in before Sunday School to go over the musicians with the instrumentalist and put their tithe in the plate. They did not have a checking account. Paid everything with cash or money orders.
There was no "record" of his giving and the rumors flew. He was put on the spot to explain himself. He did and his quick remedy was a tithe envelope. But the damage was done; people thought he hadn't started tithing until he was told to. Is it anyone's business what or how someone tithes? -
Tater: Since your husband is the pastor of the church, I would let him deal with it.
It sounds to me like it's time to get someone else to count the money... -
I had a situation some years ago---there was a family who paid tithes in cash----they'd just drop it in the collection plate during offering time. Well, since they payed in cash and didn't use any envelope system---there was no record of their contribution
By and by---they came to the "phy-nance" man and said---we want a record of our contribution for Uncle Sam. Since there was no record---well---they just had to "eat it"
Bro. David -
I'm with Sue. Let the pastor handle it, and get someone else to count the money, she has proven she is unable to handle it appropriately.
-
*sigh*
What realy irritates me is how this small person has taken a wedge of time out of your Sunday afternoon figuring out how to deal with her.
I like the idea of pastor hubs going to see her. It will carry a bit more weight (sorry that's such a true statement). -
Tater, is this person also the treasurer?... if not, maybe the treasurer could go with your hubby when he talks with this person...
Tithing matters must be confidential, and this person needs to know this.
With your Pastor/hubby going, along with the treasurer, it will not be viewed that you all are picking on them... It also adds a witness to the equation, and an air of professionalism with the one that handles the treasury addressing this problem. -
Well, I didnt confront her yet. I dont want to do it prematurely, as there are some other issues as well. I have confronted her before on gossip that I just couldnt let go. No, she is not the treasurer, but this has been her job since Aunt Bessie May bequeathed it to her 98 years ago, lol. I had thought about talking with the treasurer and this lady at the same time and telling them both that this has gotten to me and I am very disappointed, knowing that only the two of them know who gives what. I know the treasurer can be trusted, and she will know that I dont think she has shared this, but it might appear less accusing.
As for letting my husband deal with it, I think thats a great idea, but he has some rather weighty issues on his shoulders right now, and I think its something I can do, since I give the money, to lessen his load.
I do appreciate all the advice and I will digest it before I gently and sweetly move in and claw her eyes out. :saint:
(J/k for those who dont really know me.) -
My Church, we post all tithes in the notes for each quarterly business meeting. In fact, we publish the complete financial picture of the Church including all salaries etc... I don't know why we do as this practise was in place when I took over.
I know you hubby has a lot on his plate but I don't feel this is something you should address. I feel you should leave this to him and try to carry another part of his load.
Whatever you decide, pray first... We're with ya :thumbs: -
hm. OK. I think I will hold off for a while and see what happens. I certainly dont want to overstep my boundaries.
BTW, dh and I had discussed the issue and he thought it would be OK for me to talk to her if I felt I should. He trusts me with things like that, but I also dont want to make things worse. Thanks for the advice. I love being a part of the Body. :) -
If someone offends you, go that person in private.
I know a pastor who was ready to leave a church over an issue much like this. He shared it with the deacons and they took care of the problem. He has been very successful as their pastor since.
Page 1 of 3