YOU MIGHT BE A PASTOR IF...
~ Everybody stops talking when you enter the room.
~You've ever lied at a funeral.
~ You always read the obituaries.
~ You've ever suffered anxiety attack while playing Bible Trivia Pursuit.
~ You wonder why people who have some time to kill want to spend it with you.
~ You get your second wind when you say "And in conclusion"
~ The ideas you bounce off board members really do.
~ Your car tires are balding faster than your head.
~ You wish someone would steal some of your sheep.
~ You've seen more religion at a pool hall than you've seen at a Church cricket match.
~ Your Bible has more side notes than printed text.
~ "Annual Church Meeting" and "Armageddon" are one and the same to you.
~ You jiggle all the toilet handles before you leave the church
building.
~ You've waded in a creek wearing a necktie.
~ You've ever dreamed you were preaching only to waken and discover that you were.
~ You'd rather negotiate with terrorists than the church organist.
~ You see a picnic as no picnic.
~ You've ever wanted to fire the church and form a congregation search committee.
~ You've been tempted to take up an offering at a family reunion.
~ You've ever wanted to give the sound man some feedback of your own.
~ You've ever wanted to lay hands on a deacon, and you didn't mean praying for him.
~ You often feel like you are herding cats instead of shepherding sheep.
~ Your sermons have a happy ending...everyone's happy when it ends.
~ You've never preached on TV, because your wife made you get down before you broke something.
~ You feel that it is your job to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.
You Might Be A Pastor If...
Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by chuck2336, Feb 25, 2008.
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...You run rabbit trails when going over the shopping list. (Maybe not that, but as for just general talking, guilty :)
...You think of your youth and the TV characters you were really into - and wonder if they were saved. (Yep! That's what fan fiction is for, to get them saved, right? :type:
...You watch the news, and the first thing you think about any news item involving people is, "I hope they're saved." (Actually, all Christians should think that - but sadly, many feel it's the pastor'[s job to reach people. And, as I've drawn closer to God, I find myself thikning that more and more.) -
~If in a conversation with another person that person blurts a four letter word and covering their mouth says, "I'm sorry".
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--- you only work one day a week. (Don't you love that statement!!!)
--- You are the one who says 'grace' at every picnic you attend
--- you go to the grocery store, and don't get home for 3 hours later, because everyone wants to talk to you
--- you often forget that others have lives that doesn't have to do with church
--- You are expected to straighten up a 18 yr old because their parents didn't want to force their kids to go to church. -
These are great. I was laughing when I read several of them :smilewinkgrin:
Is it ok if I post these on my blog? I will give you credit for them. Send me a message and let me know. -
And people complain if you work too long.:smilewinkgrin: -
"~ You've never preached on TV, because your wife made you get down before you broke something. "
This one doens't make sense, unless it's a groaner about sitting or standing on the TV. Is that it? -
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... when someone tells you they'll be in church THIS Sunday, you act like you believe them, but you know it's a lie.
... you are cynical and hopeful at the same time.