Depression?

[Reformed]

I am not a medical professional, nor do I play one on television. I also have not stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night, so I am out of my element when discussing this topic.

I have a business contact that has become a friend. I see him two or three times a month. By all outward indicators, he looks like a well-adjusted guy. He makes a great income, drives a class of car better than I can afford, and lives in a toney part of a nearby major city. He divorced some years ago, but he has a good relationship with his grown children. I met him for lunch today and he just did not look good. He has dark bags under his eyes and his demeanor is of someone who has not slept for days. I did not ignore the obvious, so I asked him what has been going on. He told me that for the past few months when he is not working he is sleeping. All he wants to do is go to bed. For all the time he is spending in bed, he is constantly tired. He did go and see his doctor, and after a panel of tests, he was told that he has no physical problems. His doctor told him that he is probably suffering from depression. He refuses to see a psychologist or a psychiatrist. He is deathly afraid of being put on medication. I am trying to support him as best as I can, but I am out of my league with this.

What would you do in a situation like this?

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

I am not a medical professional, nor do I play one on television. I also have not stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night, so I am out of my element when discussing this topic.

I have a business contact that has become a friend. I see him two or three times a month. By all outward indicators, he looks like a well-adjusted guy. He makes a great income, drives a class of car better than I can afford, and lives in a toney part of a nearby major city. He divorced some years ago, but he has a good relationship with his grown children. I met him for lunch today and he just did not look good. He has dark bags under his eyes and his demeanor is of someone who has not slept for days. I did not ignore the obvious, so I asked him what has been going on. He told me that for the past few months when he is not working he is sleeping. All he wants to do is go to bed. For all the time he is spending in bed, he is constantly tired. He did go and see his doctor, and after a panel of tests, he was told that he has no physical problems. His doctor told him that he is probably suffering from depression. He refuses to see a psychologist or a psychiatrist. He is deathly afraid of being put on medication. I am trying to support him as best as I can, but I am out of my league with this.

What would you do in a situation like this?

Is he a Christian?

 

[Reynolds]

I am not a medical professional, nor do I play one on television. I also have not stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night, so I am out of my element when discussing this topic.

I have a business contact that has become a friend. I see him two or three times a month. By all outward indicators, he looks like a well-adjusted guy. He makes a great income, drives a class of car better than I can afford, and lives in a toney part of a nearby major city. He divorced some years ago, but he has a good relationship with his grown children. I met him for lunch today and he just did not look good. He has dark bags under his eyes and his demeanor is of someone who has not slept for days. I did not ignore the obvious, so I asked him what has been going on. He told me that for the past few months when he is not working he is sleeping. All he wants to do is go to bed. For all the time he is spending in bed, he is constantly tired. He did go and see his doctor, and after a panel of tests, he was told that he has no physical problems. His doctor told him that he is probably suffering from depression. He refuses to see a psychologist or a psychiatrist. He is deathly afraid of being put on medication. I am trying to support him as best as I can, but I am out of my league with this.

What would you do in a situation like this?

Speaking for a "friend" the song Paint it black pretty accurately describes depression. You can put on the happy face. You can function at the highest of levels. On the outside you can be on top of the world. On the inside, there are times its all just fades to black and you enjoy it being black. Medication is one way to deal with it. My "friend" simply realizes he does not have to be happy all the time. Just ride the black times out because they will pass. The medications can make you happy, but its a weird happy. In my "friends" case, the meds turn the God box in his head off and make him push far away from God. The prescribing doctor said "turning the God box off" is quite common with the modern generation if anti depressants. You can in most cases learn to deal with most depression. I guess if one can not remain functional they would definitely require help. Most can remain functional.

 

[Reformed]

Is he a Christian?

Yes. He claims to be.

 

[Reformed]

Speaking for a "friend" the song Paint it black pretty accurately describes depression. You can put on the happy face. You can function at the highest of levels. On the outside you can be on top of the world. On the inside, there are times its all just fades to black and you enjoy it being black. Medication is one way to deal with it. My "friend" simply realizes he does not have to be happy all the time. Just ride the black times out because they will pass. The medications can make you happy, but its a weird happy. In my "friends" case, the meds turn the God box in his head off and make him push far away from God. The prescribing doctor said "turning the God box off" is quite common with the modern generation if anti depressants. You can in most cases learn to deal with most depression. I guess if one can not remain functional they would definitely require help. Most can remain functional.

I think that is one of the reasons why he is against meds. I do not know enough about meds for depression to comment intelligently.

 

[Reynolds]

Is he a Christian?

Does not really matter as far as the depression. Being a Christian no more makes you immune to mental illness than it makes you immune to the flu.

 

[Reynolds]

I think that is one of the reasons why he is against meds. I do not know enough about meds for depression to comment intelligently.

Probably many reasons. I think I would rather be depressed than be the "normal" the meds make you.

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

Yes. He claims to be.

Is your friend an anxious person, worried about many things... you say he can’t sleep right.

 

[kyredneck]

I wonder if his doctor checked him for sleep apnea. If he sleeps alone he may not be aware that he is not getting the deep REM sleep that he needs, I.E. snoring.

 

[kyredneck]

Sleep apnea 'could be misdiagnosed as depression'

Sleep apnea 'could be misdiagnosed as depression'

I think Reformed has me on ignore so someone might point this out to him.

 

[Deacon]

That idea of checking for sleep apnea is a good one.

I’ve never heard of any medicines that “turn the God box off” - I didn’t even know I had a God box, maybe he’s simply watching the wrong channels.

I work in the medical field and deal with many people that need help but want to do things their own way.

They don’t want to go to the doctor
Don’t want to take medication
Don't want to exercise
​

Being “deathly afraid” of medical professionals or helpful medication will often lead people into deep trouble, trouble that leads to even more doctors and more medicine and eventually .... we’ll you know.
People often want to do things their way without help, thinking they can do it alone. They’re just digging a deeper hole.

I have a form that patients fill out before getting a stress test
I use it to attempt to discern risk factors and the reason for the stress test.
The first question is simply, “Why are you getting this test?”

Many write, “My doctor told me to get it.” [tells me right off the bat that this is an uninformed patient]​

So I ask, “Why did you go to your doctor?”

Typical answer, “My wife told me to go.”​

Next question, “So what does your wife think is wrong?”

The answer always amuses me, “She says I have chest pain.”​

Me: “Ah Ha!”

Denial kills people!

Spiritually deny your need for God and you die.
Physically deny your bodily needs and you die.​

Recognize the problem and find a way to treat it,
laying around and denying the proble only compounds the situation.​

Medicines for depression are not “happy pills” - that’s old thinking
The newer medications work with body to make it work in the way it should.
They work over time and are meant to taken for a limited duration, (months).
They work best when combined with counseling, social and physical activities.

Is his way of treating the problem working...

Perhaps he ought to listen to a professional and try another way.

Rob

 

[JPPT1974]

I suffer depression and have to take medication and seeking counseling. Along with Asperger's a form of Autism. And really it is a constant fight for me.

 

[Reformed]

Is your friend an anxious person, worried about many things... you say he can’t sleep right.

I do not know about the level of his worry or anxiety. He says all he does is go to work and then go to bed, so I think he is sleeping. Maybe he is sleeping too much? Like I said, I a not a doctor. I know his divorce shattered him (he told me that), but that happened years before I met him. For all that I know about him, there is much more I do not know.

 

[Reformed]

That idea of checking for sleep apnea is a good one.

Good point. I know for a fact that his doctor did check for sleep apnea. He had a sleep study done and he was not diagnosed with sleep apnea.

Perhaps he ought to listen to a professional and try another way.

I think so too. I understand why he does not want to see a mental health professional. He sees it as a sign of weakness. I told him, "That is the point! We are all weak. So what if you can bench 300 lbs., physical strength does not make you immune from the pressures of life." I recommended that he speak to his pastor or a trusted brother in his church that he can confide in so he can receive prayer and spiritual support. I have been through some rough patches in my life and having friends and loved ones who were willing to listen to me was invaluable.

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

Good point. I know for a fact that his doctor did check for sleep apnea. He had a sleep study done and he was not diagnosed with sleep apnea.


I think so too. I understand why he does not want to see a mental health professional. He sees it as a sign of weakness. I told him, "That is the point! We are all weak. So what if you can bench 300 lbs., physical strength does not make you immune from the pressures of life." I recommended that he speak to his pastor or a trusted brother in his church that he can confide in so he can receive prayer and spiritual support. I have been through some rough patches in my life and having friends and loved ones who were willing to listen to me was invaluable.

Perhaps it’s loneliness, not having a companion. I’ve seen that many times. Having someone to talk to, someone to confide in, to be there is important.

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

I will pray for him

 

[Rebel1]

Depression is hell. I would rather have a physical ailment than depression. At least most physical illness can be treated successfully with medication.

 

[1689Dave]

I am not a medical professional, nor do I play one on television. I also have not stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night, so I am out of my element when discussing this topic.

I have a business contact that has become a friend. I see him two or three times a month. By all outward indicators, he looks like a well-adjusted guy. He makes a great income, drives a class of car better than I can afford, and lives in a toney part of a nearby major city. He divorced some years ago, but he has a good relationship with his grown children. I met him for lunch today and he just did not look good. He has dark bags under his eyes and his demeanor is of someone who has not slept for days. I did not ignore the obvious, so I asked him what has been going on. He told me that for the past few months when he is not working he is sleeping. All he wants to do is go to bed. For all the time he is spending in bed, he is constantly tired. He did go and see his doctor, and after a panel of tests, he was told that he has no physical problems. His doctor told him that he is probably suffering from depression. He refuses to see a psychologist or a psychiatrist. He is deathly afraid of being put on medication. I am trying to support him as best as I can, but I am out of my league with this.

What would you do in a situation like this?

If he is a Christian there are biblical solutions. But nothing blows away depression like pumping iron and aerobics. Plus you end up with more energy, and a brighter outlook.

 

[Rob_BW]

If he is a Christian there are biblical solutions. But nothing blows away depression like pumping iron and aerobics. Plus you end up with more energy, and a brighter outlook.

True, a healthy body does help you maintain a healthy mind.

 

[Revmitchell]

I am not a medical professional, nor do I play one on television. I also have not stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night, so I am out of my element when discussing this topic.

I have a business contact that has become a friend. I see him two or three times a month. By all outward indicators, he looks like a well-adjusted guy. He makes a great income, drives a class of car better than I can afford, and lives in a toney part of a nearby major city. He divorced some years ago, but he has a good relationship with his grown children. I met him for lunch today and he just did not look good. He has dark bags under his eyes and his demeanor is of someone who has not slept for days. I did not ignore the obvious, so I asked him what has been going on. He told me that for the past few months when he is not working he is sleeping. All he wants to do is go to bed. For all the time he is spending in bed, he is constantly tired. He did go and see his doctor, and after a panel of tests, he was told that he has no physical problems. His doctor told him that he is probably suffering from depression. He refuses to see a psychologist or a psychiatrist. He is deathly afraid of being put on medication. I am trying to support him as best as I can, but I am out of my league with this.

What would you do in a situation like this?

Sometimes depression is a result of chemical imbalances in the body. Sometimes it is a result of not dealing with life's circumstances appropriately. Regardless of how he got there you or someone needs to make sure he is not giving up on life altogether.

As tough as it is he needs to be reminded or told that getting out of his funk requires some action on his part. He needs to go see a good Christian counselor and get diagnosed. He needs to be reminded that laying in bed only exacerbates his emotions and he needs to make every day a purposeful day even if he does not feel like it.

Diet and exercise play a role in this as well. He needs to get exercise daily and it will help him feel better even if it does not take away the blues altogether. He needs to stay away from sugar based foods as well as processed foods. They tend to aggravate the emotions. He also needs to drink plenty of water every day.

None of this cures the depression but it will reduce symptoms. Most importantly he needs to seek help from a professional and do what they say to do. If he continues to refuse to take care of himself he may need a good slap in the face ( not literally). Be firm but loving, do not hold your punches but let him know that is comes from a place of concern for his well being not judgement.

I would also encourage him to seek regular counsel with his pastor. His pastor can pray with him and direct him privately on prayer and scripture based on what is going on with him. He also needs an accountability partner to ask him regularly if he is doing what he needs to be doing instead of just laying in bed.