This question alone begs for a lot of Jokes. I have a little mischief about me and its hard not to use it here. :laugh: :laugh: :saint: :flower:
Good for a man not to touch a woman...
Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Jeep Dragon, Aug 15, 2006.
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IMHO. -
I am new here and it seems I'm coming into this topic a bit late. But I'd like to add my two cents. I am a single male and have never been married. I will be 45 y/o next month. I have a woman friend, who like me, has never been married. We've been friends for about 20 years. When we go places {or not} she likes to touch me. When we are walking, she will put her arm around my waist. I must say, this bothers me. I do not like it at all. I put up with it because I love her dearly. But to me it is out of place for a Christian woman to touch a man as well. Personally, I don't like being touched by anybody, family or friends. I don't say anything because I know I would hurt her feelings, but it seems to me a bit out of place and especially when we are out in public. For example at a fair, or at the zoo, or in the mall, etc. I just don't like it and it embarrasses me.
So, am I weird or what? :eek: -
-c-
I think you are pretty normal for a man . . . I don't think we do great with any intimacy, but I really (IMHO) think we do worse in intimacy when we deal with a woman we do not want to have deeper feelings for . . . -
Scarlett O. ModeratorModerator
May I just say this to you as a one who is female. This friend of yours who is touching you in ways that makes you feel uncomfortable, in private as well as public.......she is reading a whole lot more into the relationship that you are. Women do not "hang" onto men unlesss they think that the affection is or could possibly be reciprocated.
You can't worry about hurting her feelings by telling her that you are "not into her" like that. You are doing far worse damage to her by not telling her.
She has you pegged as PHM (potential husband material) and she is just biding her time, thinking that you are going to "come around" to see it her way.
We women are baaaad about that.
By the way, I'll be 45 next month, too! But I don't like to think about it! :mad: -
MrCorey
IMHO.
It is not normal for a woman to think of a man as only potential husband material (gotta love potential - whatever happened to real instead of imitation).
She could really just be your friend - you might want to have a talk about that - but, it is not abnormal for women to like men almost like a brother. Brotherly love happens in most cultures. It even happened a lot here in the USA before feminism took over . . . and taught men and women to fear normal relationships.
IMHO. -
Scarlett O. ModeratorModerator
Brother, El_Guero....every grown adult woman in the universe who is not married....well, all of the heterosexual ones....evaluate the available and worthy single men in their lives and ask themselves, "Could he be the one?" Labeling a man as potential husband material is merely asking yourself does he measure up to what I am looking for in a husband!?!? A man who is potential husband material is someone whom you are interested in and actively pursue possible matrimony with! Although women are very careful not to mention that word too early in a relationship with a man who is a PHM kind of guy. :laugh:
I think I must have offended you somewhere down the line because you disagree with just about everything that I say and it's really getting kind of silly! :saint:
But a woman who puts her hands all over a man and cuddles up to him intimately and physically in private and in public to the point where he is very uncomfortable with it......well, in case you don't understand, she "ain't" thinking "brotherly" thoughts about him!! :laugh:
And she doesn't fear a normal relationship.
And I have no clue what you are talking about with the feminism thing...... -
Yes ma'am it is rather silly . . .
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MrCorey
Hang in there brother. Do a DTR talk - define the relationship.
I will be praying for you.
Wayne -
Well, as I stated, we've been friends for over 20 years. I would think by now she would realize I'm not marriage material. As for the talk. I have spoken to her about our relationship and that it will never go any further than best friends. She just isn't the one. I don't know if there ever will be "the one" at my age, but I know it's not her. And she knows it too. I think she just loves me pleutonically-but I find her way of showing it uncomfortable. Other than telling her I don't like her touching me {which I never did} she does know how I feel. I just always keep my mouth shut cuz' I don't want to hurt her. As I said, I love her dearly. She's one of my best friends. And over the past 20 years, we've been through a lot. But she knows I'll never marry her. I have plainly told her so. :rolleyes:
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One problem is you allowed it to go on too long. You seem like a security blanket to her as every woman needs to feel accepted. I'd just ask one day why does she do it. Her answer may make it something you may want to tolerate.
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My reason for this post was just to point out that it's not always just woman who find touching inappropriate, but some men feel the same way as well. I don't even like shaking hands, but it's a part of our culture that I have to put up with.
{PS, I love all these smilies!!} :type:
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