Joke Thread
Discussion in 'Jokes & Humor (Clean)' started by RipponRedeaux, Jul 27, 2023.
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tyndale1946 Well-Known MemberSite SupporterKen quit horsing around... Brother Glen:D;)
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Could be he is drinking a ton of Mt Dew!
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Could be my not making myself get to bed like I plan instead of getting to bed 60-90 minutes late.
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tyndale1946 Well-Known MemberSite SupporterI wouldn't accuse him of that Salty, because where he hails from Mt. Dew takes on a whole new meaning... Brother Glen:)
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RipponRedeaux Well-Known Member
Did you heat about the kidnapping at the school?
Don't worry. He woke up. -
RipponRedeaux Well-Known Member
A mountain man and a bear went into a bar. The bartender asks "So what's your story?"
The mountain man replies "Bear with me."
These days Lance is not a common name. But back in the Middle Ages people were named Lance a lot.
I got a bogus deck of cards for my birthday.
It's hard to deal with.
A guy was throwing scrabble pieces all over the road. I asked him what he was doing.
I'm trying to get the word on the street. -
RipponRedeaux Well-Known Member
What do sea monsters like to eat?
Fish and ships.
I was told my salads are a little on the dry side and that is something that needs addressing. -
RipponRedeaux Well-Known Member
My niece had a baby last week.
I knew she had it in her.
Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Because it's too far to walk.
Dogs can't operate a MRI machine.
But cats can.
Right before surgery I asked the doctor if I could give myself my own anesthesia.
He told me "Knock yourself out."
i saw a tv for sale. The volume was stuck all the way up.
I said I can't turn that down.
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One asks the other "Does this taste funny to you?" -
Many years ago, Ken was a missionary to the South Sea islands.
One day as he was searching villages in the outback -
He was attacked by cannibals. They took him to their camp and the pot was
already heated up. Ken had a great ideal - Just before they put him in -
Ken told the Chief that they should have a taste before he is cooked. So Ken takes
out his pocket knife and cuts off a piece of his leg. Handing two pieces to the Chief (withh on for the medicine man and- he said try it. They both took one bite - and spit it out. The Chief demanded he leave the camp immediately as the Medicine Man believed he was an evil god.
As Ken left the camp - he raised his hands unto the Lord and prayed
"Lord, I now thank you for that wooden leg!" -
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tyndale1946 Well-Known MemberSite Supporter
God grant me the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference... Brother Glen:)
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The only thing flat-earther’s fear,
is sphere itself. -
Is that a time joke
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If you say “gullible” really slow…
…it sounds like “oranges”. -
tyndale1946 Well-Known MemberSite Supporter
A man goes out ice fishing one morning. He reaches the ice and is about to cut a hole in it when he hears a voice from above: “There are no fish here.”
The fisherman is shocked but gets up and moves to another spot. As he’s about to cut a hole, he hears a voice from above again, “There are no fish here either.”
He gets up and moves to a third spot. Before he’s even finished walking, the voice says, “I’m telling you, there are no fish here.”
The fisherman says, “God, how can you be so sure there aren’t any fish here?”
The voice replies, “This is the ice rink manager.”... Brother Glen:D -
That was cold
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tyndale1946 Well-Known MemberSite SupporterBrother Glen;):Biggrin
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RipponRedeaux Well-Known Member
Where do bad rainbows go?
To prism. It's a light sentence. -
RipponRedeaux Well-Known Member
What does a baby computer call his father?
Data. [pronounced dada]
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