I have been in places where I just do not fit in and have little in common with the people there as far as secondary interests. Some say you all have Christ in common which is true, but people want secondary interests and commonalities in order to connect and if you have little this will mean it will be hard to find friends. There is also the component of the church and they not having many ways to connect with others. At my present church they have very little for men and very little connection events. I have been to all that I could attend, but they just have very little.
Back in SC I visited a number of churches and had this problem, until I finally settled in on a church with a very active singles ministry and lots of ways to connect with one another and so I was successful at making friends and finding ways to connect. But there was others that visited our group and some where just older singles and they had this problem and eventually they just left and moved on. The missing variable was the activities and the churches where I had failed to make friends and connect had very little of it.
I also remember a guy in the singles ministry that was involved in 2 different churches singles ministry just so he could always be busy, have activities and make friends. During my singleness days this was easier, but my spouse is not all that social and wants to only go to one church all her life, which sooner or later is not going to work as I want to make friends and the only way this is going to happen is if I find other churches with more activities and ways for men to connect which I will do.
Making friends at Church
Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by evangelist6589, Jul 7, 2013.
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evangelist6589 Well-Known MemberSite Supporter
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Now that you are married your life is going to change. You will not be able to run around with friends anymore, at least not often. Of course, you can invite friends to your house to visit you and your wife. Or, you and your wife can get involved in activities where you both can participate and associate with other people. -
Earth Wind and Fire Well-Known MemberSite Supporter
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It is what his "spouse" (who says this?) likes that matters isn't it?
Most new wives are funny, many of them like their husband to spend time with them. Some are not too keen on a fellow running around with his friends like he is still single. Wives are funny like that. -
1 Corinthians 7:33 (KJV) 33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please [his] wife.
1 Corinthians 7:34 (KJV) 34 There is difference [also] between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please [her] husband.
Evangelist, seek the things that please your wife. If you don't, you may one day lose her. -
I would recommend finding other young married couples (or young dating couples) and maybe a few older married couples and have them over for dinner. You'd be surprised at how much we might have in common - even without a lot in common. We've done this and honestly, having the Lord in common means a lot more than you think. :)
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Some of my best friends are from church. But, more of my best friends are who I have lived life with, whether it be college or whatever.
I tend to find a lot of shallow "acquaintance" relationships at church, too. It is what it is. -
Earth Wind and Fire Well-Known MemberSite Supporter
Maybe thats why you got ...what is it....8 kids (LOL)
Anyway my wife likes Giants Football which allows for W/E cookouts in the fall ....TG. But I gotta have my time also.... Rubgy, Golf, Hunting, Baseball & March Madness -
Sometimes friends and church members do not mix. Many church members tend to have big mouths and long noses. To be a friend, one must be able to confide a situation in them without their jaws flapping to the world. That seems to be an automatic reflex with many at church. I guess you could liken it to involuntary muscular activity, such as a heartbeat.
Another mark of a friend is common interests, such as hobbies. Gossip is not a hobby of mine. People I keep in a close circle of friends are not judgmental, do not foam at the mouth until they can run and tell, and have as much trust and respect for me as I do them. I probably have five or so very close friends at church. Most I am cordial to, but keep a division between them and my out of church life. -
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Earth Wind and Fire Well-Known MemberSite Supporter
No brother, she should want a confident Christian man who takes his place as the head of the family, honors wife & family & can express his masculinity in fellowship with other Christian men. There are reasons God made us this way, & she should encourage you in this. What is wrong with evangelism, with helping others in the community, in having a beer with the boys, in playing hoops in a pickup game with Christian buddies etc? Absolutely nothing but good in my opinion. -
padredurand Well-Known MemberSite Supporter
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Earth Wind and Fire Well-Known MemberSite Supporter
If memory serves our hero is going to his wives Fundamentalist Church & he had some concerns about it. soooo....like dat! -
padredurand Well-Known MemberSite Supporter
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Some of our best relationships through our years in churches were with people who were not just like us. Much older couples, widows/widowers, teens, youth, etc. It's GREAT to get out of ourselves and be a part of a family. -
Earth Wind and Fire Well-Known MemberSite Supporter
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Earth Wind and Fire Well-Known MemberSite Supporter
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We have been so blessed by the Lord. At our church we are one big family. We love and communicate with each other. We, along with several other drive between 55 and 75 miles one way to church so we do things a little differently.
On Sunday we have a morning bible study time then we have a few minutes to share a small breakfast. We then have our morning service which includes plenty of singing and then some old-fashioned Bible preaching. After this we break and have a communal lunch and fellowship. Then we have our second service around 1:30 or 2:00. After this we either go home or fellowship for a while at the pastor's home before heading out.
We have know most of these people for between 20 and 30 years. God truly is great indeed! -
evangelist6589 Well-Known MemberSite Supporter
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