The thing I keep coming back to is that discipline has to happen everywhere we are with the children. Spanking stops fairly early because children start to reason. The behaviours that have been mentioned don't go on forever and because they are associated with young children, they have to be taken care of quickly.
Well, they should stop early for the most part UNLESS they aren't taken care of early and are allowed to continue -- then we have real problems on our hands.
Parents Who Spank Being Made Criminals
Discussion in '2008 Archive' started by Linda64, Mar 19, 2008.
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I can point you to neighborhoods all along the east coast where children as young as 8 are drunkards and addicted to drugs. -
Not only, but spankings are always followed by discussions after the child is calm and the incident fully settled about what led up to the spanking and how one can be avoided the next time.
I promise you, when I stopped that car next to a "switch tree" my child knew exactly what the problem was.
When we went into that bathroom I had told my child in firm tones what he had done/was still doing and what I planned to do to stop it. He had all the way from the checkout counter to the restroom to stop kicking and screaming.
You know, I have really good kids. These spanking were some of the few they ever recieved, but, there for a while, going out in public was getting to be a problem. You can't send a kid to there room or give them a time-out while you are in a grocery store. It just doesn't work.
These instances were power plays, btw. Every kid has a time that defines for him/her Mom or Dad's authority. Some kids push and push, looking for just such an event that tells them they can go this far but no further. The limits at home were already well defined. But public behavior, well there might just be some wiggle room in that event. :eek: These instances proved decisively for mine that Mom was in control in public as well as at home.
Shaming(public or private) a child for accidents, ignorance or events outside the child's control may have the effect you say. A good parent wouldn't be spanking for these at the start with. -
Our second was our tester/strong willed kid. I remember thinking that I was abusing her because all I seemed to do was spank her. She'd go ahead and do something wrong while looking at me to see what I'd do. I'd go over, tell her "No" - getting eye to eye with her so I was sure she heard me. She'd then go ahead and do it again to see what I'd do. I'd spank her, she'd cry, then do it again! Honestly, this could go on 4-6 times before she'd finally get the message that she was not to do that.
Child 3 has been a very easy kid and much like #1. He wants to please and has been spanked about 3X in his 7 years.
#4 has been wonderful until recently. She's 5 and has begun pushing some boundaries so we're cracking down on her a bit. No more asking more than once if I know she heard me and has responded. She's also throwing some good two year old tantrums and that is resulting in going to her room where she can be upset but not affect the rest of the family. She's another one who has not been spanked much at all but she's making up for it right now. I know this is a short stage and we'll get through it fine (the benefit of having been there done that. LOL)
The key to discipline in public is to be sure of yourself, firm and NOT yielding no matter how much easier it would be to just give them the piece of candy. My kids have learned that a fuss out in public will result in severe penalties at home. If they threw a tantrum in public when they were toddlers, I'd pick them up and walk right out to the car and make them sit and wait. After 10 minutes, we'd go back in to finish the shopping because, after all, I HAD to shop - it's not like I was there for the heck of it! They all learned and are wonderful when we go out.
If you work with your kids at home, and respond well with those first tests in public, I really think that you will not have to spank your kids in public. But then again, my second child was the one who I spanked in public twice. LOL! She was just the tough one but at 15 now, she's a great kid. Thank you Lord for being so gracious! LOL -
Revmitchell Well-Known MemberSite Supporter
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Revmitchell Well-Known MemberSite Supporter
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Revmitchell Well-Known MemberSite Supporter
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Revmitchell Well-Known MemberSite Supporter
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My youngest will be 17 on the 21st of this month and if I felt he needed to be spanked, you'd better believe his behind would not be spared. And I could care less what any nosy busy body had to say about it!
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Until age 4, our son was a tyrant, but he had health problems also. After he had an operation, his behavior suddenly became 100% better. I felt bad for spanking him when his behavior was likely due to adverse health problems. He was a toddler.
I don't believe our son has EVER been disciplined in public. But in our home, acting up in public results in a much harsher discipline than private. He has been taught this.
He is 17 now, and a really good person. No behavior problems, gets great grades, is planning for college. So there you go...
A few times when a man was disciplining his son in the bathroom, I stood on an adjacent toilet and looked into the stall to see what was going on. One man I told to calm down and come out. Then I took his child aside to see if that was his father.
Blood curdling screams from a tiny child amongst any violence inflicted behind closed doors needs to be checked into. Imo, it's ignorant not to open the door to ensure the child is safe. Some kids have been maimed by sickos because others ignored their pleas for help. We need to go into an adjacent stall (even if it means cutting in line) to stand on the toilet and view the situation. Of course, be really polite to the parent as they are likely just disciplining their kids. A good parent will probably appreciate your interest in ensuring their child is safe.
Corporal discipline shouldn't be so urgent it needs to be shared amongst the public. A mother spanking her little Johnny and airing to the world all he did wrong is not "a group thing". It's private. With that, good parents have disciplined their children in public so I don't mean to condemn them.
As webdog pointed out, people DO get their children taken away unnecessarily for spankings so love your kids enough not to take the chance. The bible says Fathers are not to offend their children. Think of how the Lord would feel if our own actions got our children taken from us, and placed with strangers (who could harm them- not all Foster Parents are honorable)
Note: I live in California so maybe culture plays a role in our views. -
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well, you guessed it! -
Revmitchell Well-Known MemberSite Supporter
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Revmitchell Well-Known MemberSite Supporter
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Since our school system still paddles, I guess you can tell that spanking isn't going to get you into much trouble.
Still, a kid that goes and tells school administration that mom/dad beat him last night and shows signs of bruises is going get looked at.
Other places, a kid that says the same thing and shows no sign of bruising may also get looked into. It can be scarey.
I'm a hardhead though. When one of my kids came home from school with a flyer designed to tell abused children where to call from help, we sat down as a family and discussed what abuse was, when it was appropriate to call for help and what would happen if they called and lied about being abused. Notice the italics. My children understand that if they should make such a call, they will have to live with the consquences. And I've made sure they understand what those consequences are.
I am not going to live in fear of the "authorities" coming to take my child away because I've disciplined them. I'm much more afraid of what God will have to say if I don't discipline them. -
Sorry for the numerous questions but it would be interesting to know how they get away with this-
Who does the paddling? Are the parents present in the room? Does the school need written permission from the children's parents? If you refuse to allow your child to be struck, what happens? Do your chilldren attend this school system?
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Revmitchell Well-Known MemberSite Supporter
There is a real and legitimate reason to have some amount of fear of government agencies that look into family matters. Many of the agents that work for these agencies have very personal and liberal ideologies that drive their investigations. Some deem any form of corporal punishment as abuse. And while they may not have the law they need to act against that they will work to make the situation appear what it is not so as to remove the children from a situation where corporal punishment is conducted. These agencies seem to have very little oversight with way to much authority.
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