The Navy Chief

The Navy Chief noticed a new seaman and barked at him, 'Get over here! What's your name?"

"Paul," the new seaman replied.

"Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy baloney they're teaching sailors in boot camp today, but I don't call anyone by his first name," the chief scowled. "It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker. I am to be referred to only as 'Chief.' Do I make myself clear?"

"Aye, Chief!"

"Now that we've got that straight, what's your last name?"

The seaman sighed. "Darling Chief, .... My name is Paul Darling, Chief."

"Okay, Paul, here's what I want you to do ....."