Bad Advice Only

Discussion in 'Forum Games' started by fluke, Nov 13, 2008.

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  1. abcgrad94 Active Member

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    When the cop asks you if you have any I.D. say, "about what?"

    My neighbor keeps letting his dog poop in my yard. What should I do?
     
    abcgrad94, Nov 17, 2008
    #21

  2. SaggyWoman Active Member

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    When you see it happen again, shoot the dog.

    I am tired of the trick or treaters that come to my door. What should I do?
     
    SaggyWoman, Nov 18, 2008
    #22

  3. SBCPreacher Active Member
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    Put in a moat - alligators and all!


    How do I keep my kids playing the street?
     
    SBCPreacher, Nov 18, 2008
    #23

  4. Benjamin Well-Known Member
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    Padlock on electrical dog collars and place the boundaries at the curb.

    How can I stop from getting older?
     
    Benjamin, Nov 18, 2008
    #24

  5. abcgrad94 Active Member

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    Throw out your calendars and stop celebrating your birthdays.

    I hate going to my in-laws for the holidays because all they do is watch sports on TV. What do I do?
     
    abcgrad94, Nov 19, 2008
    #25

  6. tinytim <img src =/tim2.jpg>

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    Shoot em... there are no sports allowed at funerals...

    My head hurts, how do I stop it from hurting?
     
    tinytim, Nov 19, 2008
    #26

  7. Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    Stop standing under where the masons are working:tonofbricks:



    How can I convince my daughter that its all right for me to give my 9 year grandson an M-16 for Christmas?
     
    Salty, Nov 19, 2008
    #27

  8. SaggyWoman Active Member

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    Let him take and pass a concealed weapons class first.

    How can I stay up all night without falling asleep?
     
    SaggyWoman, Nov 24, 2008
    #28

  9. LeBuick New Member

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    PPsstt... Over here, DRUGS....


    How do I get my wife to let me wear the pants?
     
    LeBuick, Nov 24, 2008
    #29

  10. SaggyWoman Active Member

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    Don't wear ANYTHING for a week.



    How do I get a good refund next year on my tax returns?
     
    SaggyWoman, Nov 26, 2008
    #30

  11. abcgrad94 Active Member

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    Give birth to twins before December 31.

    How can I get my husband to take out the trash without having to nag him about it?
     
    abcgrad94, Nov 26, 2008
    #31

  12. SBCPreacher Active Member
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    Set it between him and the TV. (Works on me!)

    How can I get my cats to stay off the furniture?
     
    SBCPreacher, Nov 26, 2008
    #32

  13. Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    [quote

    How can I get my cats to stay off the furniture?[/quote]

    Make the mice stay in the kitchen



    What do you tell your boss when he tells you you have to work Christmas Eve, Chrstmas, New Years Eve, and New Years Day
     
    Salty, Nov 27, 2008
    #33

  14. SaggyWoman Active Member

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    Tell him "Heck No", but not the word heck. The other word. Say it with attitude.




    I have a friend who wants to get off drugs. How do I help?
     
    SaggyWoman, Nov 27, 2008
    #34

  15. LeBuick New Member

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    "I feel the Christmas/New Years flu coming on. You better schedule someone else cuz I may be sick boss (cough, cough)"

    Sorry to back up one but I couldn't resist....

    Become a dealer and give them a discount...


    My daughter just turned 16, how do I keep her away from the boys?
     
    LeBuick, Nov 27, 2008
    #35

  16. SBCPreacher Active Member
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    Padlock on her bedroom door.

    How do I make the mice stay in the kitchen?
     
    SBCPreacher, Nov 27, 2008
    #36

  17. SaggyWoman Active Member

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    Serve hors' doerves in there.

    How do I keep rain from getting on my hair?
     
    SaggyWoman, Nov 30, 2008
    #37

  18. EdSutton New Member

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    Move to Atacama, Chile, and work in the guano fertilizer industry. It has only received any significant rainfall there twice in the last 15 years, averaging .02" per year.

    How do you stop a wild animal from charging? :D

    Ed
     
    EdSutton, Nov 30, 2008
    #38

  19. Deacon Well-Known Member
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    Q - How do you stop a wild animal from charging?

    A - That's an easy one, take away her credit card.

    How can I get a new car?

    Rob
     
    Deacon, Nov 30, 2008
    #39

  20. SaggyWoman Active Member

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    If you see one parked in front of a store still running, get in it and drive away?



    How do I get the bulbs to stay on my Christmas tree?
     
    SaggyWoman, Dec 11, 2008
    #40
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