I had a lengthy discussion last evening with a good friend about the issue of trust. He asked me, "How many people do you completely trust?" I thought for a few moments and then responded to his question with, "Not many." He drilled down on my answer and said, "Is it more or less than five people? Answer honestly." I said, "Less than five." Perhaps that is an indictment on me. There are not many people that I trust completely. To be fair, I have not always been trustworthy and have deserved others being skeptical of me. So, as Christians, how are we supposed to deal with issues of trust? What does scripture have to say about it? If trust is breached can it be earned back? Trust and forgiveness are the same things, although they are somewhat connected. How does true forgiveness impact trust?
Trust
Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Reformed, Jan 16, 2020.
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I’d say that trust is something that’s earned based upon past situations.
I trust some people about some things, and the same people I might not trust with something else.
As we get older our trust of other people diminishes.
...because there are so many people trying to take advantage of us.
Sure is nice to be able to turn to SomeOne we can trust when everything around us appears to be untrustworthy.
Sure is nice to be able to turn back towards SomeOne for forgiveness when I prove untrustworthy.
He is long suffering towards me, so I can be more patient towards those who have lost my trust.
Rob -
Particular Well-Known Member
Hmmm...
This is a good question. It seems that many factors lead to trust. In other words, trust doesn't exist in isolation. Trust is built on other foundations.
What then does trust require?
For me, trust requires a track record of honorable behavior. It requires a person express a Godward attitude. It requires grace expressed and displayed. I'm sure there is more, but ultimately trust is not something that lives in a vacuum. -
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I think in terms of trust I am the opposite of @Deacon. I trust people until it is shown to me they are untrustworthy.
I tend to be trusting and forgiving. Both have bitten me in the past but for the most part I think it has worked out. It is rare that I encounter untrustworthy people.
I think my experience in the military may have contributed to this outlook.
Also, I tend to assume that people hold the same values I hold. I expect them to be honest, but I also expect them to be a bit self-centered (a fault of mine).
I do not see forgiveness as being related to trust.
Forgiveness is something I believe should be extended based on Christ dying for us while we were sinners. Not to forgive is prideful because our least sin against God is eternally greater than the most extreme wrong committed against us.
If someone lied about me they violated my trust. I would forgive them. To trust them again is not forgiveness but restoration. For me forgiveness is always proper. Restoration is not. Forgiveness is grace. Restoration is not.
I find forgiveness easy. But I am a Deadhead.... peace, love, forgiveness and psychedelic posters. -
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Particular Well-Known Member
Is choosing to have faith in human kindness the same as trusting someone? I can be with untrustworthy people and still have faith that they will act kindly, but that doesn't mean I trust them. What you have written seems more an issue of you having faith that people will act kindly. Is that the same as trust? -
I guess the best way to put it is I tend to be trusting and to think the best of other people (in context of their behavior towards others). -
I was brought up to always have the back of your friend No MATTER WHAT. In my younger days, there were many instances where I told a friend or family member he was wrong for starting a fight, but until we won it I had their back. There was many a bar fight that I had no idea why we were fighting, and I didnt need to know. I have the outlaw biker mentality when it comes to friendship and brotherhood, I am always loyal and I expect the same in return. -
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We all extend a measure of trust that differs given the person or situation we encounter. I trust the HVAC technician is competent enough to fix my central air conditioner but I do not trust him to be alone in my home with my wife. I trust my doctor but will not hesitate to get a second opinion on a serious condition. Middle-age has allowed me to see past the careless days of my youth and view things with somewhat more mature eyes. When someone touts their own virtue I sense insecurity and a need to overcompensate. When someone calls too much attention to their failings I sense false humility. Both of those things cause me to have a short leash on trust.
@Reynolds wrote about the loyalty he has to his friends. That is an admirable trait. Part of being a good friend is to hang in there with a friend who is struggling. I know someone who is an alcoholic. His alcoholism almost destroyed his family and strained his friendships. Thankfully, some of his friends came together to confront him over his addiction and made a covenant to love and help him no matter what. He is now in recovery and doing much better. His family relationships and friendships have been maintained. But what about trust? Do his family and friends trust him? I suppose they trust him in some areas but do not trust him in others. They probably do not trust him to have even one drink of alcohol, no matter how small. -
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Ah, the careless days of youth, as you put it, certainly seemed a better time for giving and receiving trust. Young, single, with no real bills, it was easy to be trusting.
Hard to be as trusting when I have a wife and kids relying on my decisions. -
alexander284 Well-Known Member
To me, trust is like respect. There is the trust and respect I give to anyone and everyone (as a fellow human being).
But then there is a much deeper level of trust and respect I give only to those who are a part of my inner circle (which is very small).