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Duggar Family

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John of Japan

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Gina,

It is wonderful that they are teaching their children not to look at immodestly dressed women. But if that is the only thing they are being told and they are not being told who it was that says this, it is doing nothing for that child at all but teaching him good moral.

I am reminded of the movie, "Time Changer" where a young boy was told it was wrong to steal marbles. He was not told why it was wrong. It was explained later that you can clean up a persons morals and that person can be the kindest person on earth. But if you teach good morals without Jesus Christ, your teaching is in vain.
It does no good to tell the little ones the reasons why. They aren't mentally capable of understanding it yet. You simply let them know the standards. Then when they're old enough to mentally process things, you take them through the reasons, and let them go through the thinking process on their own. Then when they are older still, you let them have their own standards without criticizing them--as long as they have carefully thought things through.
 

Steadfast Fred

Active Member
It does no good to tell the little ones the reasons why. They aren't mentally capable of understanding it yet. You simply let them know the standards. Then when they're old enough to mentally process things, you take them through the reasons, and let them go through the thinking process on their own. Then when they are older still, you let them have their own standards without criticizing them--as long as they have carefully thought things through.
I disagree, John. Born in October 1997, Little Joy Anna was 12 or 13 in that video. Quite old enough to understand.
 
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Steadfast Fred

Active Member
My wife and I were talking and laughing at the "Nike" and "All Gone" explanation.

The rule seems sexist. I mean, it is obvious that the girls can look at any man walking down the street and not have to hear "Nike" and "All Gone."

Girls are just as capable of lusting as boys are, yet it is the boys who are told it is wrong to look.
 

annsni

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I've taught my children from a young age a lot of things - and explained things to them that is age appropriate. It's not that hard to say to a young child "There are some parts of the body that are private but not everyone thinks the same way we do. But God wants us to guard our hearts and minds so it's best for us to look away if we see someone not covered up well and showing off parts of their body that should be covered." Even a 3 year old can understand that.
 

InHisGrip

New Member
I have seen a few episodes and the kids seem articulate and happy. They need no government assistance. They work, they invest wisely, they seem to be just as happy in their life as I am in mine. However, my "beef" with it is that much of the world equates Christianity (especially Baptist, Baptistic,etc) with fundamentalism based on what they see on TV.

I know several families like this in our area (one with 9 kids, one with 12, one with 7) and they are very similar. I have had in-depth conversations with them and have eaten at their dinner tables. The older help with the younger, they all learn a musical instrument, they do home church, home school, even home birth. The girls do not date or work outside the home. Even the 20 - 25 year olds. They bubble themselves in and only associate with people like themselves. They consider Christians who live like most of us on this board to be "worldly" (cut hair, make-up, etc).

What I see in famililes like the Duggars and these I mentioned is that instead of pervading society with the message of the Gospel, they preserve themselves inside their own little bubble. I know I will get blasted for this, but from MY EXPERIENCES in MY CORNER OF THE WORLD (disclaimer), fundamentalism turns off non-believers. It has nothing to do with the number of children a family has, it is about the worldview. "And that's all I got to say about that."
:saint:

(And by the way, they consider me worldy. I got invited because they were considering having me teach some art lessons to some of their kids.)
 
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Jerome

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I guess when the girls shout out "codeword Nike" the boys are to immediately avert thir eyes to their tennis shoes?

I still am puzzled where Jim Bob and Michelle came up with this "defrauding" term. It sounds vaguely like the KJV, or maybe they heard it at their Bill Gothard training sessions?
 

John of Japan

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I disagree, John. Born in October 1997, Little Joy Anna was 12 or 13 in that video. Quite old enough to understand.
Sorry, I know nothing about the show and the ages of the kids. I assumed the child was small. I'd say 12 or 13 is when they can start understanding the standards. So maybe that is what they are doing now with Joy Anna, I don't know.

So, on that basis, what are you disagreeing with?
 

Gina B

Active Member
Gina,

It is wonderful that they are teaching their children not to look at immodestly dressed women. But if that is the only thing they are being told and they are not being told who it was that says this, it is doing nothing for that child at all but teaching him good moral.

I am reminded of the movie, "Time Changer" where a young boy was told it was wrong to steal marbles. He was not told why it was wrong. It was explained later that you can clean up a persons morals and that person can be the kindest person on earth. But if you teach good morals without Jesus Christ, your teaching is in vain.

True. I've got some hair-raising tales I could tell that have to do with extremist IFB churches I've had the displeasure of being involved in and exactly what dangers lurk when you focus obsessively on "modesty."

However, everyone's dancing around an "if." IF they are doing this, blah blah blah blah, if they aren't doing that, blah blah blah blah.

How about this...everyone quit worrying about IF they are doing wrong. Why are you focusing on the ifs of a family you don't know?
I'm not getting it. What do you gain? What do they gain? What does anyone gain by sitting around wondering if they're fully expounding this particular point of scripture with their children?

TO EVERYONE:
are you fully teaching your children every single point in a fashion you honestly believe is fully addressing the scriptural viewpoint, or did you do that with your children? Did you fail to completely and fully address any single point in scripture?

If not, congrats on your perfection.

If so, set down that stone. Gently. Not tossing it in the Duggar's general direction. :laugh:

And send me $5,000 a piece for my mental anguish or I'll sue.

(sorry, just got done reading the Stella awards)
 

Winman

Active Member
What I see in famililes like the Duggars and these I mentioned is that instead of pervading society with the message of the Gospel, they preserve themselves inside their own little bubble. I know I will get blasted for this, but from MY EXPERIENCES in MY CORNER OF THE WORLD (disclaimer), fundamentalism turns off non-believers. "And that's all I got to say about that."
:saint:
I believe many of your observations are valid, but aren't these families very similar to families we read about in the scriptures? Didn't Abraham send a servant to his country and his kindred to find a wife for Isaac?
Not saying we should marry kin, just pointing out how important family is shown in the scriptures.
In Bible days, or even two hundred years ago these families would have been very normal. It is not that they have changed, the world has changed.
I disagee about these families not spreading the gospel, the children often go into ministry.
So, they are strange, but is that bad? Most are good, hardworking, and God fearing people.
And of course the world hates them, the more godly you are, the more the world will hate you.
 
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John of Japan

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What I see in famililes like the Duggars and these I mentioned is that instead of pervading society with the message of the Gospel, they preserve themselves inside their own little bubble.
I know little about the Dugger family and any efforts they might make to reach the world, but you're generalizing about fundamentalists, and you are mistaken.

Tomorrow we will go to a fellowship time with fundamentalist families from all over our island of Hokkaido. Several of them have familes of 6-8 kids (one with 8 boys, no girls!). All of them are strict, with high standards. All of them are pervading this area of Japan with the Gospel. They interact with Japanese and they seek to win them to Christ through many different avenues of contact: teaching English, Bible studies at colleges, passing out tracts at midnight at Shinto Shrines, kids' meetings in the park, etc., etc.

I have heard that the only group in Christianity that is currently increasing in the number of missionaries sent out is the independent Baptist movement. I can't prove that in general, but I can prove it in Japan with figures from the Japan Evangelical Missionary Association directory. Fundamentalists are doing much to win Japan to Christ and "pervade society with the message of the Gospel," and we do that while still having high standards of personal conduct.
 

John of Japan

Well-Known Member
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I believe many of your observations are valid, but aren't these families very similar to families we read about in the scriptures? Didn't Abraham send a servant to his country and his kindred to find a wife for Isaac?
Not saying we should marry kin, just pointing out how important family is shown in the scriptures.
In Bible days, or even two hundred years ago these families would have been very normal. It is not that they have changed, the world has changed.
I disagee about these families not spreading the gospel, the children often go into ministry.
So, they are strange, but is that bad? Most are good, hardworking, and God fearing people.
And of course the world hates them, the more godly you are, the more the world will hate you.
Well said!
 

Gina B

Active Member
What I see in famililes like the Duggars and these I mentioned is that instead of pervading society with the message of the Gospel, they preserve themselves inside their own little bubble.

The Duggar's preserving themselves in a bubble and not spreading the message of the Gospel?

Just call me Captain Obvious because I'm gonna have to point out that they're on NATIONAL TELEVISION and people from a mess of places are on this thread discussing intimate aspects of their life.

How broad does your own proclamation of the message spread if you consider theirs to be in a bubble?
 

Winman

Active Member
I can just imagine Noah preaching for men to repent, and his sons helping him build a huge boat hundreds of miles from water were the talk of the town. I'm sure they were considered real freaks.
 

Gina B

Active Member
The rule seems sexist. I mean, it is obvious that the girls can look at any man walking down the street and not have to hear "Nike" and "All Gone."

Girls are just as capable of lusting as boys are, yet it is the boys who are told it is wrong to look.

True, but boys don't walk around with private stuff boingling out their tops and if they do, it is generally considered quite repulsive rather than attractive.

Women certainly can have equally wrong thoughts and ideas, but I see a lot more female than male when I walk down a street. That's definitely sexist and something should be done about it, right?
 
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