Aside from the qualification for pastors in regard to divorce and remarriage, one of the toughest challenges a pastor faces is the decision about marrying people going into second marriages. I have known some pastors that had a blanket rule, no second marriages. To me, this seems to be the wrong approach. The other approach requires treating each case individually. It takes seeking the will of the Lord, common sense, the characters of each of the partners and their part in the breakdown of the first marriage, and of course, maturity and growth if they were the fault. It is a judgement call, one that I am glad I do not have to make.
For Pastors, How Do You Treat Requests for Second Marriages
Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by saturneptune, May 14, 2010.
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The first wedding that my husband performed was a second marriage. The groom and his ex-wife divorced a number of years before - before he was saved. She remarried so there was no reconciling there. The bride was abused and then abandoned by her husband - she actually has no idea where he is. He left her, she eventually was able to file for divorce in Brazil where they came from. She hasn't seen him in over 20 years and he never tried to contact his daughter. My husband performed their wedding 2.5 years ago. He just performed the man's funeral 3 weeks ago. His wife took wonderful care of him during the last months he had in his battle with cancer. They were a wonderful couple.
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I judge each situation individually.
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righteousdude2 Well-Known MemberSite Supporter
No Problem in My Camp, Either!
Like those before me... I have no problem doing weddings for those who are coming out of a failed marriage. The only weddings I've turned down are between a believer and a non-believer. -
It is also a lawful ordination of the government.
At very least (IMO), depending upon the conscience of the minister, it should/could be done for the benefit of the legal protection afforded the partners (male-female) and subsequent children.
HankD -
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I contend here in the USA, we speak American!
Salty -
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JohnDeereFan Well-Known MemberSite Supporter
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I do a good number of weddings (just came home and stripped off my black clergy outfit from a 2 pm wedding) and many are to people with all sorts of "baggage".
Most are folks who've lived together and finally making it legal. Some divorces, some 3rd or 4th marriages. Did a third marriage at New Years - older couple in assisted living after had lost previous mates and it was a joyful time.
I will marry two unsaved folk or two saved folk, but never "mixed". Marriage, in apposition (not opposition) to "shacking up", is a great benefit to society, to children, to the community, etc.
When we do counseling with the couple, we delve into the six leading causes of marital break-up. If one or both are divorced, I have them explain what "happened" in previous marriages. Leads to great introspection. -
SBCPreacher Active MemberSite Supporter
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JohnDeereFan Well-Known MemberSite Supporter
Our church has only been around for three years and has only had two weddings, so a lot this is still theoretical for us, but we require a great deal of pre-marriage counseling and mentoring before we'll marry them.
So we haven't had any such issues yet, but you're right. It would be very easy to lie about it. -
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Individual case.