In the event of the rapture.......

[kyredneck]

http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/

[excerpt from home page]

"You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you've received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.".........

....."Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable.
For $110.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $15.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged friends."

 

[rdwhite]

That is too funny.

 

[kyredneck]

Yes, I considered posting it on the Clean Humor forum.

 

[preachinjesus]

Under my modified LaHayean Rational Dispensational Neo-Fundamentalism I believe my pet will ascend with my at the eschaton.


hey I'm also thinking about starting a shared business...using pagans of course. They will be responsible for insuring that our churches will remain empty and shooing away anyone that shows up the Sunday after the rapture (including the Deacons.)

 

[Ed Edwards]

Would it be Bibically ethical to use my tithe money for this purpose? It would cost me $125 for my Bishon (8-people years, 56-dog years) and my Bulldog (2-people-years, 18-dog years).

-- At the first sound of the last trumpet of the Church Age I'm outta here. raying: I hope I'm near a couple of athiests as I start to rise. I'll grab one with each hand & I'll testify to them. At about 30,000 Feet I'll offer the invitation: Believe in Jesus or I'm going to drop you :godisgood:

 

[Nonsequitur]

I just went to a lawyer and made my first will. I wanted my will to be with a practicing (the religion) Jewish lawer, so that in the case of Rapture, he would be,of course, still be here but since he believed in the same God, (and because of the Rapture now believed that Jesus was the Messiah), that he would be the best lawyer to make sure my will was followed the way I wanted it. I told this to my lawyer who made the will, (a Christian), and he laughed at first, then said I might be on to something.

Now......I don't care to make this a thread about the different beliefs of the end times. But...if I'm right....wouldn't it make sense to find such a lawyer?:godisgood:

 

[BigBossman]

My question is if I'm raptured while driving my car, who's going to take control of it while it is in motion? After all, I wouldn't want to smash into anyone. When you think about that it would be kind of scary for those who weren't raptured.

 

[kyredneck]

hehe,...YOU all are funny!......

methinks me no comprender everything me knows about the rapture and me no worry about it, much less worry about the dogs......

 

[Salty]

My question is if I'm raptured while driving my car, who's going to take control of it while it is in motion? After all, I wouldn't want to smash into anyone. When you think about that it would be kind of scary for those who weren't raptured.

and the pilot and co-pilot of a 747 flying over Chicago...

 

[tinytim]

Or our nation without our political leaders...

Oh wait.. somethings will stay the same.

 

[billwald]

"Sucker born every minute," P. T. Barnum.

 

[LadyEagle]

Or our nation without our political leaders...

Oh wait.. somethings will stay the same.

Sad but true.

I was thinking of moving this thread out of the Current News, but hey, who knows, it might be a current event.....lol....here's hoping.

 

[webdog]

Why would I trust an atheist over God to take care of my pets? I have enough lost family members who would most likely take them in.

 

[theolog]

I wanted my will to be with a practicing (the religion) Jewish lawer, so that in the case of Rapture, he would be,of course, still be here

I suppose if your Jewish lawyer wants to "take care" of my dog when I'm gone, he can... but, I'm not sure my dog is kosher!

 

[billwald]

>Why would I trust an atheist over God to take care of my pets?

Why would God take better care of your pets than he does with falling birds?

 

[tinytim]

I wanted my will to be with a practicing (the religion) Jewish lawer, so that in the case of Rapture, he would be,of course, still be here

I suppose if your Jewish lawyer wants to "take care" of my dog when I'm gone, he can... but, I'm not sure my dog is kosher!

Just buy Hebrew National...

OH.. wrong type of dogs!

 

[Nonsequitur]

I wanted my will to be with a practicing (the religion) Jewish lawer, so that in the case of Rapture, he would be,of course, still be here

I suppose if your Jewish lawyer wants to "take care" of my dog when I'm gone, he can... but, I'm not sure my dog is kosher!

The dog doesn't have to be kosher; he just has to bark in Yiddish.:laugh:

 

[Nonsequitur]

Just buy Hebrew National...

OH.. wrong type of dogs!

Those are really good too. I just can't eat the bagels with lox and cream cheese. Bagels are too tough for my dentures.:laugh:

 

[webdog]

>Why would I trust an atheist over God to take care of my pets?

Why would God take better care of your pets than he does with falling birds?

So I should trust an atheist over God? Really?!?

 

[KenH]

If those who believe that this current heavens and earth will still exist after the rapture(and I have no doubt that they are as wrong about that as can be and are grossly misled on the subject) are correct, then I want to stay behind and take care of my dogs and parakeets. I'll catch up with the rest of ya'll later in that case.