I always figured Calvinists just waited until the hand of God bodily picked them up and carried them down the aisle.
Like Spurgeon, huh?
Why does it ALWAYS have to degenerate into this sort of nonesense?
I'm one who is identified with Calvinism. I do an altar call. Only thing is I phrase it differently, "If Christ is drawing you to Himself, come and pray, come and talk, come and let us show you in the Word about God's calling on your life."
I am also very fond of celebrating the Lord's Table at every service and using that as the altar call. "As the church takes the bread -- the body -- and the cup -- the blood -- of the Lord Jesus Christ, YOU take Christ if He is calling you today, so that you can celebrate His sacrifice with us next Sunday."
I ABHOR long, drawn-out altar calls where the preacher has everyone bow their heads, close their eyes, then starts in with some story about little Timmy, who just lost his mama to cancer. Then, "just slip up a hand..." "Thank you brother..." "I saw that sister..." "Now, with no one looking, I want those people who just lifted their hands to come forward to me and take my hand..." "Church, LOOK AT THESE WHO HAVE COME FORWARD!" Ten verses of "Just as I Am" later, the preacher starts in for round 2...
Makes the preacher out to be a liar every service, also fails to allow God's people to interact with each other as the Scriptures call -- we are to edify, pray for, lift up, interact, counsel -- love -- each other as ministers of reconciliation to the gospel. All this sort of altar call does is set up the pastor as the primary priest over his people while he tells sad stories and guilts them into making a response.